Positively Paula

Why Cheer for the New Mrs. Delaware United States?

Mon, 21 May 2012 16:20:00 GMT

Let's hear some cheers for the newly crowned Mrs. Delaware United States! Francine Edwards, who was announced as the winner this month, happens to have a platform that certainly caught my attention. There are several interesting reasons why I am cheering. Not only is she an assistant professor at Delaware State University, but she also won at the age of 43 when many of her competitors were "mostly in their late 20s to early 30s,..." according to MiddletownTranscript.com. Drumroll, please...

The biggest reason why I am rooting for Edwards is that her platform is "Blended and Blessed: Step Parent and Step Family Support," according to the MiddletownTranscript.com, "Townsend woman crowned winner of 2012 Mrs. Delaware United States." (photo of Francine Edwards by John Dodd)

This is one stepmom that I really hope to interview on my RemarriageWorks show on The Stepmom's Toolbox Network. And, according to the article, her strategy for the fitness part of the competition involved P90X with her husband. She had me on the first round of applause; P90X with her husband is just icing on the cake. Congratulations Mrs. Delaware! And, good luck at the annual Mrs. United States Pageant in August. I'll be cheering for you as you help bring awareness to the needs of stepfamilies and blended families.

Mother's Day 2012: My Favorite Picture

Mon, 14 May 2012 15:20:00 GMT

I hope all of you moms - whether you are a mom, stepmom, bonus mom, adoptive mom, grandmother, or foster mom - had a fabulous Mother's Day. In our blended family, we have two children who are now out of college, two in college, and one in high school. We were fortunate to have had at least three of our five kids with us this year on Mother's Day. We wish we could spend time with all of them, but that is a rare occurrence as they are growing up and moving out on their own. I thought I'd share my favorite Mother's Day photo this year with you.

This year we had our three sons with us at home. Here is my favorite picture of the day! How many of you can relate to this?

And, here they are on our wedding day in 2003:

They are probably going to kill me for posting these, but I couldn't resist! We've had our ups and downs in our blended family like everyone else. We'll have many more. One thing is for sure. We absolutely love them all.

Top Three Tips for Planning Your Second Wedding from StaceyLu

Thu, 10 May 2012 18:56:00 GMT

On Monday night during the "Eat, Drink and Remarry with StaceyLu" episode on my RemarriageWorks show on BlogTalkRadio, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stacey Tucker, author of the popular blog, Saying it Out Loud, and the book, Eat, Drink and Remarry: Stacey Lu's Guide to Planning the Second Time Around. The podcast is now available for you if you missed the live call.

You'll hear StaceyLu's top three tips for planning your second wedding and her top three tips for your remarriage. And, you'll be sure to crack a smile when you hear StaceyLu's funniest moment as she planned her encore wedding. Enjoy!

Listen to internet radio with Stepmoms Toolbox on Blog Talk Radio

My Show Tonight: Eat, Drink & Remarry with StaceyLu

Mon, 07 May 2012 15:51:00 GMT

If you know anyone who is getting remarried and/or planning his or her second wedding, tune in to my RemarriageWorks show on BlogTalkRadio tonight at 8 p.m. EST. Don't be surprised to find out that getting married again can be much harder than you anticipated. My special guest, Stacey Tucker, author of Eat, Drink and ReMarry: StaceyLu's Guide to Planning the Second Time Around is here to help!

Stacey Tucker will share how to get through your encore wedding plans with humor and insight. You will hear Stacey's top three tips for planning your second wedding and her top three pieces of advice for your second marriage.

During tonight's show, we will also be discussing our funniest experiences related to our second wedding planning, along with our most frustrating and challenging times. You'll see why the second time around isn't really the second time around. Don't miss this enlightening conversation!

A big thank you goes to two of our great sponsors for this show:

SteppingTwoGether - Tools and Resources for Individuals, Couples, Marriage Educators, and Counselors

Cruise-Ship Wedding - provider of all inclusive, affordable, and unique weddings!

Vote on Free Second Wedding (aka Encore Wedding) Contest

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 16:05:00 GMT

WINC FM is having a free wedding contest for people who are getting remarried after divorce or widowhood, and your vote is wanted! Six people have submitted a video explaining why they should win this free encore wedding giveaway, including a wedding gown for their second wedding, and the videos and stories are great! Vote for your favorite video until March 9.

The winner of the fabulous free encore wedding, or second wedding will be announced at our upcoming Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides on March 10 at 10 a.m. at River Creek Club in Leesburg, VA. Our Remarriage Showcases are the premier event for the remarrying bride (and groom!), and are designed for people preparing to remarry or form a stepfamily. There will be all kinds of helpful resources and experts to help you with your second wedding, and remarried and/or stepfamily life. Registration is at RemarriageShowcase.com.

The winner will receive a fabulous free wedding package for their second, or encore wedding. Prizes include custom designed second wedding invitations, a luxe wedding experience package from A Splash of Elegance, a photography package from Jones Photography, reception music from Music Unlimited, coaching sessions from The Stepmom Coach, Claudette Chenevert, second wedding attire from Soliloquy Bridal Couture who has some of the most amazing wedding gowns I have ever seen, dinner for two at Maggiano's in Tyson's Corner, and a reception at the amazing Piedmont Club, a ClubCorp property.

Check out these wedding contest videos that people submitted to win a free second wedding (encore wedding), and vote today! One of these lucky people will definitely have an extra special way of celebrating a second chance for happiness!

Tune in Tonight! Parenting Teens in Your Blended Family

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 20:18:00 GMT

Do you have teenagers in your stepfamily? Are you struggling with your spouse over parenting teenagers in your blended family? Tune in tonight at 8 pm EST to my RemarriageWorks show, "Parenting Teens in Your Blended Family." I'll be interviewing Al Betz, author of Outfluence, The Better Way to Influence, and founder of Outfluence LLC which offers coaching, training, and public speaking to teens, families and other audiences interested in improving communication.

Al Betz is an entrepreneur, author, and a public speaker who believes in hard work, inspired performance, second chances, and always moving forward. Join us as Al offers tips and wisdom about understanding teens and communicating with them.

There are five kids in our blended family. At one time, four of our five kids were teenagers all at once. Looking back, I'm not sure how we survived! I'm eager to hear Al discuss some tips to help parenting and step-parenting teens go more smoothly. This topic ins't covered often enough. You can tweet your questions to us @RemarriageWorks. And, if you are going to be an instant stepmom or stepdad of a teenager, you may want to especially tune in so you know what to expect.

Win a FREE Second Wedding (aka Encore Wedding) from WINC FM!

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:03:00 GMT

Do you know anyone who is planning their second wedding? engaged to remarry? having an encore wedding in the next year or so? If you or anyone you know is planning to get married again after divorce or widowhood, you have to check out an exciting contest from WINC FM in northern VA/DC. WINC FM is giving away an encore wedding (aka second wedding). This could be a great way to start off on the right foot with your second chance for happiness! The contest package includes some fabulous prizes.

WINC FM, out of Winchester VA, our media sponsor for our upcoming Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides, which will be held at River Creek Club in Leesburg, VA on March 10, is having an encore wedding giveaway on-line now! Prizes include, but are not limited to:

second wedding invitations custom-designed by Carla David Design;
a Luxe Wedding Experience package from the extraordinary event planning company, A Splash of Elegance;
wedding photography by Jones Photography;
a wedding gown from the fabulous new bridal couture boutique, Soliloquy;
flowers by Graceful Flowers;
music by Music Unlimited;
the fine venue Piedmont Club in Haymarket, VA, a ClubCorp club; and,
if you are going to have a stepfamily, four coaching sessions from The Stepmom Coach, Claudette Chenevert.

Even if you aren't located in northern VA/DC, consider making it a destination second wedding! (Please note: travel and lodging are not included.)

All you have to do is submit a video that is 30 seconds or less telling WINC FM why you deserve an encore wedding. If you or your fiance' have had some rough times, and I'm guessing you may have if one or both of you is getting remarried, check out this opportunity.

WINC will be announcing the winning couple at our Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides on March 10.

And, for those of you who may be wondering.....

Q: How are second weddings any different from first weddings?

A: I invite you to check out my article, "Top 5 Reasons Why Remarrying Brides Deserve Their Own Bridal Show."

Q: What? Are you kidding me? What's up with RemarriageWorks.com, WINC FM and these sponsors? Are they promoting divorce?

A: ABSOLUTELY NOT! Here are the plain facts. Nearly 100 million people in the U.S. are either considering remarriage after divorce or widowhood, or are already remarried. Over 1000 stepfamilies form daily. The divorce rate for second marriages is between 60-70%, and that rate is even higher than the divorce rate for first marriages. Our mission at RemarriageWorks.com is to help remarriages and stepfamilies succeed. Remarriage and stepfamily living and blending families can be a challenging road, an often very rewarding and joyful journey, but it can be very tough and often takes a lot of hard work.

We want to make the remarriage journey a little easier for you by bringing you credible and valuable resources, inspiration, and hope with a positive twist! If you like this, please spread the word about our efforts and WINC FM's encore wedding giveaway contest. I really think the time is coming where we can start supporting healthy remarriages and stepfamilies from the start!

Happy Valentine's Day to My Blended Family and Yours

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:06:00 GMT

Opinions about Valentine's Day vary. (In fact, these days opinions about everything vary, including ones about remarriage on Facebook, but I'll save my story on that for a future blog.) Today I want to send everyone, especially my husband, family, friends, and readers a positive Happy Valentine's Day message. I often refer to my family as a blended family or stepfamily in my posts, but they really are my "family." If you blog, you know how it is to try to please the search engine gods out there. So, back to Valentine's Day...

Some people swoon at the idea of an entire day dedicated to love and the act of showing love; many others think it is a "made up" holiday forced upon us by the greeting card industry. Before writing this post today, I read the Wikipedia article on Valentine's Day to try to come up with some deep, meaningful post about Valentine's Day; and frankly, I was just disappointed. Reading the article started to become a downer. How can a day celebrating love turn into a day that has been banned? (I guess I'll explore that theme, too when I decide to write about my recent Facebook experience. And, that isn't going to happen today!)

Today I'm sending a loving Happy Valentine's Day to my husband, my family, friends, and to all families - blended and step! I truly appreciate all of you and wish you love, peace, and happiness. Whether you are the remarried couple that goes out on the town tonight and exchanges extravagant gifts, the couple that gives an extra hug whispering, "Happy Valentine's Day" while settling into bed, or the stepparent that sends a simple text message to your stepchild simply saying "Happy Valentine's Day," show some love today to those around you that you care about. Any way you want to do it is fine.

Join the USA Blended Family Association and You May Win "Journal for Stepmoms"

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:27:00 GMT

We're now in an age where the so-called "normal" family is no longer a Mom, Dad, and 2.5 kids. The reality is that there are many stepfamilies across our nation, over 1000 stepfamilies form daily. As many of you know, blended families are a unique system, with their own distinctive challenges and obstacles. And, while each stepfamily is unique in its own way, many of us share a common story. It's important that our community come together as we can learn from and find support in one another.

I am very excited to be recently named to the Board of Advisors to the nonprofit organization, the United States of America Blended Family Association (USABFA). I am honored to be a part of their wonderful online community geared towards blended families and stepfamily living. USABFA provides a platform to share stories and advice, connect with others, build knowledge, and strengthen communities. You may have a neighbor down the street or across your town that has a family just like yours, looking for the same support for which you're looking.

Or, maybe there's a family in another state experiencing the same difficulties as you. USABFA offers you the chance to connect with not only your local stepfamily community, but many blended families across the nation.

Anyone can join. As a member of USABFA, you have the ability to build a personal profile, upload photos, contribute to message boards, publish articles, and start local chapters. The normal membership rate is $1 per month, but if you join now, you can get a lifetime membership for $9! Plus, they're giving away a FREE copy of my book, Journal for Stepmoms to every 10th person that enrolls. For more information, check out the USABFA home page.

I urge everyone to join this marvelous organization and to spread the word about it. Together we can strengthen our stepfamily community.

Second Weddings in Orange County, CA - What a Trip!

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:54:00 GMT

I just got back from talking about second weddings, encore brides, and life after remarriage in beautiful Orange County, CA. Thanks to everyone I met at our "meet & greet" pre-events for the upcoming Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides. My goal with the "meet & greets" was to get out to CA and meet local businesses and media who wanted to learn more about second weddings (aka encore weddings), encore brides, and stepfamily life. I love talking to others who care about challenges that blended families face and want to help remarrying couples and stepfamilies!

I was able to do just that. I met with some great businesses in OC that really want to serve remarrying couples and stepfamilies with their unique needs that come with planning a second wedding and forming a stepfamily. I met a fabulous event planner, Sabrina Cadini-Giacomelli, PBC of La Dolce Idea. It's clear that Sabrina truly understands what people need at their second weddings. I wish I had known her when I got remarried with kids years ago.

I also had the great pleasure of being interviewed on The CW San Diego "6 in the Morning Show" to talk about "Life After Remarriage." I discussed what kind of resources remarrying couples often need, even after the wedding day.

After this trip, we are even more excited about bringing the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides to Orange County. The venues where we are hosting our events are absolutely gorgeous. Stay tuned for more details about the Remarriage Showcases which will be at Morgan Run Resort & Club in Rancho Santa Fe, CA on October 13 and at Coto de Caza Golf & Racquet Club in Coto de Caza, CA on October 14. The beautiful view alone will make you want to check out the idea of having your second wedding in Orange County! Or, even if you aren't getting remarried in the OC, you will find helpful, unique resources to help you with planning your second wedding and stepfamily living.

Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides: Pre-Show Business Meet & Greet in OC, CA

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:33:00 GMT

The Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides is coming to Orange County, CA, on October 13 and 14. We are hosting a Pre-Show Meet and Greet with businesses, vendors and anyone who would like to learn more about the Remarriage Showcase events. I will be hosting two "meet and greet" events on January 28 and 29 so area businesses can learn more about how to grow their businesses by serving the unique needs of the remarriage market - those who are getting remarried, planning a second wedding, and living the stepfamily life!

I think it is really important to support and help remarrying couples before they marry again. Our Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides does just that as it brings together education, resources, expert advice, support and entertainment; we are reinventing the way engaged couples prepare for their encore wedding event, remarried life, and stepfamily living!

I invite you to check out my article, "Top 5 Reasons Why Remarrying Brides Deserve Their Own Bridal Show" on YourTango.com. You'll see why preparing for an encore wedding and stepfamily living really is different from the first-time around.

So, if you are in a wedding-related business or an expert in family law, estate planning, financial advice, mediation, travel, health, beauty, realty, etc., I'd love to network with you to discuss ways in which we can better serve the high numbers of remarrying couples and stepfamilies in OC, CA. This is a bridal show like no other! (See our video at the top right of this page!)

There are two pre-event "meet & greets:"

Saturday, 1/28, 9:30-11:00 am, Morgan Run Resort & Club, Rancho Santa Fe, CA
Sunday, 1/29, 2:30-4:00 pm, Coto de Caza Golf & Racquet Club, Coto de Caza, CA

I'll be giving away copies of my book, Journal for Stepmoms, as door prizes and one business at each venue will win a complimentary Bronze level sponsorship (valued at $250.00) for the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides at that location in October. Details will be provided upon RSVP. Businesses must RSVP to attend these complimentary events. RSVP to publisher@RemarriageWorks.com

Looking forward to meeting you in OC, CA!

A Great Bonus for Stepparents Who Want to Change Their Mindset!

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 17:12:00 GMT

For stepmothers who may be struggling with stress or depression and for stepparents who have lost all hope of being happy or at peace in their stepfamily, my RemarriageWorks.com radio show, "RemarriageWorks: Stepmom's Prerogative, Changing Mindset" on January 2 featured a special guest, Mindset Coach and author of Life As An Onion: The Journey Back to Your Core, Renee Canali. During the interview, Renee made some great offers to help those of you who are looking to step into 2012 with a fresh perspective in your stepfamily life. Now Renee is offering even more tools to help you at no cost!

Renee Canali and I explored how our stepchildren reflect back to us what we need to change or adopt in our relationship with them, and she shared some exercises to help you shift your mindset and help you think about you and your role in your stepfamily from a different perspective.

During the call, Renee graciously offered a FREE 30 minute coaching consultation by phone, and for those who buy her book, Life As An Onion: The Journey Back to Your Core she offered her free report.

Now it gets even better than that! I invite you to listen to the show and take advantage of Renee's valuable offer, including a coaching consultation at no cost from Renee. Plus, for those who leave feedback in the comment section under the podcast or right here (below) in this very blog, you will receive a complimentary downloadable pdf copy of Renee's ebook, Your Greatest Asset is Your Mindset, based on a presentation she gave at the National Institutes of Health.

If you've been wanting to feel better, improve your stepparenting, and/or look at things in your stepfamily in a positive way, I hope you take advantage of this! I've personally been a client of Renee's, and it has made a tremendous difference in my life. (By the way, I am NOT being paid for this endorsement.) I want more stepmoms and stepdads (or even future stepmothers and stepfathers) to know about a resource which can help them work through some challenging stepparenting times. It's free. Why not give it a shot?

Tonight's Show: A Stepmom's Prerogative, Changing Her Mindset

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 17:51:00 GMT

Are you a stepmom struggling with stress or depression? Have you lost all hope of being happy or at peace as a stepparent? Did you know there's a possibility that you can start turning these feelings around today? You're not alone! Tune in to my RemarriageWorks.com radio show coming up tonight, January 2, 8-9 p.m. EST. We'll be discussing some ways to start the new year off with new perspectives in your stepfamily life.

My guest will be Renee Canali, The Mindset Coach and author of Life As An Onion: The Journey Back to Your Core. We'll explore how our stepchildren reflect back to us what we need to change or adopt in our relationship with them. Renee will share some family exercises to help you step into 2012 on the right foot.

Tune in to the Stepmom's Toolbox mini-network on January 2 at 8 p.m. EST! You can change how you look at things today and feel a lot better!

RemarriageWorks Show on Dec. 5: "The Bitter Realities of Family Court"

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 23:07:00 GMT

Are you in the middle of a custody battle? Or, is your spouse trying to get custody of her or his kids? Do you think there are no father rights? Regardless of whether you are separated, divorced, or remarried, if you are considering or are in the middle of family law court, you won't want to miss my RemarriageWorks.com radio show coming up on Monday, December 5, 8-9 p.m. EST. It will be a rare opportunity to hear about the bitter realities of family court from a judge's perspective.

My guest will be Justice Harvey Brownstone, a sitting Ontario provincial court family law judge who authored the best-selling book, Tug of War: A Judge's Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles, and the Bitter Realities of Family Court. You'll learn about the common misconceptions about joint custody and learn about the major difference between couples who resolve their disputes privately and those who turn to a judge.

Justice Brownstone will also share his thoughts on whether people should represent themselves in court or hire a family law attorney. And, he'll tell us what factors to consider when choosing a custody lawyer. Most importantly, Justice Brownstone will let us know what a judge really considers when weighing what's best for a child in a custody battle. Justice Brownstone is sure to be just as entertaining as he is enlightening on his new show Family Matters. There will surely be some surprises! Tune in to the Stepmom's Toolbox mini-network on Dec. 5 at 8 p.m. EST!

Here Comes Support for the Remarrying Bride

Tue, 08 Nov 2011 17:18:00 GMT

Are you getting remarried? Or, planning a second wedding? Or, have a friend who is? Last night I had the sincere pleasure of interviewing two incredible women on the RemarriageWorks.com show on the Stepmom's Toolbox mini network on BlogTalkRadio.com. In this free, downloadable podcast of "Here Comes Support for the Remarrying Bride," you'll hear top tips that you should know before your second wedding day.

My two guests were Christy Borgeld, founder of National Stepfamily Day and Martha Wiles, a wedding planner and encore bridal specialist. Christy Borgeld, as mother of the groom, has just experienced planning a wedding in her own blended family and offers some valuable suggestions on working through stepfamily challenges during the encore wedding planning stage. And, Martha Wiles shares some really unique ideas about planning second weddings, including suggestions if you and/or your future spouse have children.

You can also catch some of their fabulous insights about remarrying, second weddings, and stepfamily blending in my book, Journal for Stepmoms as they have each contributed some helpful information to it. Tune in when your schedule allows; it's a great way to kick off your second wedding planning. Enjoy and best wishes to you on your remarriage journey!