On Monday night during the "Eat, Drink and Remarry with StaceyLu" episode on my RemarriageWorks show on BlogTalkRadio, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stacey Tucker, author of the popular blog, Saying it Out Loud, and the book, Eat, Drink and Remarry: Stacey Lu's Guide to Planning the Second Time Around.  The podcast is now available for you if you missed the live call. 

You'll hear StaceyLu's top three tips for planning your second wedding and her top three tips for your remarriage. And, you'll be sure to crack a smile when you hear StaceyLu's funniest moment as she planned her encore wedding. Enjoy! 

Listen to internet radio with Stepmoms Toolbox on Blog Talk Radio

Do you know anyone who is planning their second wedding? engaged to remarry? having an encore wedding in the next year or so? If you or anyone you know is planning to get married again after divorce or widowhood, you have to check out an exciting contest from WINC FM in northern VA/DC. WINC FM is giving away an encore wedding (aka second wedding). This could be a great way to start off on the right foot with your second chance for happiness! The contest package includes some fabulous prizes.

WINC FM, out of Winchester VA, our media sponsor for our upcoming Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides, which will be held at River Creek Club in Leesburg, VA on March 10, is having an encore wedding giveaway on-line now!  Prizes include, but are not limited to: 

• second wedding invitations custom-designed by Carla David Design; 
• a Luxe Wedding Experience package from the extraordinary event planning company, A Splash of Elegance; 
• wedding photography by Jones Photography; 
• a wedding gown from the fabulous new bridal couture boutique, Soliloquy;  
• flowers by Graceful Flowers;
• music by Music Unlimited;
• the fine venue Piedmont Club in Haymarket, VA, a ClubCorp club; and, 
• if you are going to have a stepfamily, four coaching sessions from The Stepmom Coach, Claudette Chenevert.  

Even if you aren't located in northern VA/DC, consider making it a destination second wedding! (Please note: travel and lodging are not included.) 

All you have to do is submit a video that is 30 seconds or less telling WINC FM why you deserve an encore wedding. If you or your fiance' have had some rough times, and I'm guessing you may have if one or both of you is getting remarried, check out this opportunity. 

WINC will be announcing the winning couple at our Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides on March 10. 

And, for those of you who may be wondering.....

Q: How are second weddings any different from first weddings?

A: I invite you to check out my article, "Top 5 Reasons Why Remarrying Brides Deserve Their Own Bridal Show." 

Q:  What? Are you kidding me? What's up with RemarriageWorks.com, WINC FM and these sponsors? Are they promoting divorce?  

A:  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  Here are the plain facts.  Nearly 100 million people in the U.S. are either considering remarriage after divorce or widowhood, or are already remarried. Over 1000 stepfamilies form daily. The divorce rate for second marriages is between 60-70%, and that rate is even higher than the divorce rate for first marriages. Our mission at RemarriageWorks.com is to help remarriages and stepfamilies succeed. Remarriage and stepfamily living and blending families can be a challenging road, an often very rewarding and joyful journey, but it can be very tough and often takes a lot of hard work. 

We want to make the remarriage journey a little easier for you by bringing you credible and valuable resources, inspiration, and hope with a positive twist!  If you like this, please spread the word about our efforts and WINC FM's encore wedding giveaway contest.  I really think the time is coming where we can start supporting healthy remarriages and stepfamilies from the start!

Opinions about Valentine's Day vary.  (In fact, these days opinions about everything vary, including ones about remarriage on Facebook, but I'll save my story on that for a future blog.) Today I want to send everyone, especially my husband, family, friends, and readers a positive Happy Valentine's Day message. I often refer to my family as a blended family or stepfamily in my posts, but they really are my "family." If you blog, you know how it is to try to please the search engine gods out there. So, back to Valentine's Day...

Some people swoon at the idea of an entire day dedicated to love and the act of showing love; many others think it is a "made up" holiday forced upon us by the greeting card industry. Before writing this post today, I read the Wikipedia article on Valentine's Day to try to come up with some deep, meaningful post about Valentine's Day; and frankly, I was just disappointed. Reading the article started to become a downer. How can a day celebrating love turn into a day that has been banned? (I guess I'll explore that theme, too when I decide to write about my recent Facebook experience. And, that isn't going to happen today!)

Today I'm sending a loving Happy Valentine's Day to my husband, my family, friends, and to all families - blended and step! I truly appreciate all of you and wish you love, peace, and happiness. Whether you are the remarried couple that goes out on the town tonight and exchanges extravagant gifts, the couple that gives an extra hug whispering, "Happy Valentine's Day" while settling into bed, or the stepparent that sends a simple text message to your stepchild simply saying "Happy Valentine's Day," show some love today to those around you that you care about. Any way you want to do it is fine.

I just got back from talking about second weddings, encore brides, and life after remarriage in beautiful Orange County, CA. Thanks to everyone I met at our "meet & greet" pre-events for the upcoming Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides. My goal with the "meet & greets" was to get out to CA and meet local businesses and media who wanted to learn more about second weddings (aka encore weddings), encore brides, and stepfamily life. I love talking to others who care about challenges that blended families face and want to help remarrying couples and stepfamilies!  

I was able to do just that. I met with some great businesses in OC that really want to serve remarrying couples and stepfamilies with their unique needs that come with planning a second wedding and forming a stepfamily. I met a fabulous event planner, Sabrina Cadini-Giacomelli, PBC of La Dolce Idea. It's clear that Sabrina truly understands what people need at their second weddings. I wish I had known her when I got remarried with kids years ago.

I also had the great pleasure of being interviewed on The CW San Diego "6 in the Morning Show" to talk about "Life After Remarriage." I discussed what kind of resources remarrying couples often need, even after the wedding day.

After this trip, we are even more excited about bringing the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides to Orange County. The venues where we are hosting our events are absolutely gorgeous. Stay tuned for more details about the Remarriage Showcases which will be at Morgan Run Resort & Club in Rancho Santa Fe, CA on October 13 and at Coto de Caza Golf & Racquet Club in Coto de Caza, CA on October 14. The beautiful view alone will make you want to check out the idea of having your second wedding in Orange County! Or, even if you aren't getting remarried in the OC, you will find helpful, unique resources to help you with planning your second wedding and stepfamily living.

The Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides is coming to Orange County, CA, on October 13 and 14. We are hosting a Pre-Show Meet and Greet with businesses, vendors and anyone who would like to learn more about the Remarriage Showcase events. I will be hosting two "meet and greet" events on January 28 and 29 so area businesses can learn more about how to grow their businesses by serving the unique needs of the remarriage market - those who are getting remarried, planning a second wedding, and living the stepfamily life!   

I think it is really important to support and help remarrying couples before they marry again. Our Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides does just that as it brings together education, resources, expert advice, support and entertainment; we are reinventing the way engaged couples prepare for their encore wedding event, remarried life, and stepfamily living!

I invite you to check out my article, "Top 5 Reasons Why Remarrying Brides Deserve Their Own Bridal Show" on YourTango.com. You'll see why preparing for an encore wedding and stepfamily living really is different from the first-time around.

So, if you are in a wedding-related business or an expert in family law, estate planning, financial advice, mediation, travel,  health, beauty, realty, etc., I'd love to network with you to discuss ways in which we can better serve the high numbers of remarrying couples and stepfamilies in OC, CA.  This is a bridal show like no other! (See our video at the top right of this page!)

There are two pre-event "meet & greets:"

• Saturday, 1/28, 9:30-11:00 am, Morgan Run Resort & Club, Rancho Santa Fe, CA
• Sunday, 1/29, 2:30-4:00 pm, Coto de Caza Golf & Racquet Club, Coto de Caza, CA

I'll be giving away copies of my book, Journal for Stepmoms, as door prizes and one business at each venue will win a complimentary Bronze level sponsorship (valued at $250.00) for the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides at that location in October. Details will be provided upon RSVP. Businesses must RSVP to attend these complimentary events. RSVP to publisher@RemarriageWorks.com 

Looking forward to meeting you in OC, CA!

I often hear from single parents who have divorced and are open to getting remarried. "Within 5 years of divorcing, 89% of men and 79% of women remarry," according to Stepcoupling by S. Wisdom and J. Green. RemarriageWorks.com supports you wherever you are on the remarriage journey, including if you are divorced or widowed and thinking about remarriage and having a stepfamily one day. If you are a divorced single parent, have you heard of DateMyFamilly.com?

I am passionate about helping people who think they want to get married again, especially before they remarry and have a blended or stepfamily. I think the remarriage journey is easier to navigate if you know what to expect ahead of time. One website that caught my eye recently is DateMyFamily.com. 

Basically, DateMyFamily.com is a free online dating website for family-oriented individuals. I am really careful about associating with dating websites, so I recently connected with one of its founders. I liked what I heard; their mission statement is "to establish a network of family-oriented individuals while inspiring love, happiness and growth, by not just building partnerships but by building families." Interesting concept.

I'm personally not in the dating world, online or off, anymore, so I invited DateMyFamily.com to share some ideas with single parents about overcoming the challenges of dating after divorce. Here is what they had to say:

"For the majority of individuals who have been through a divorce, the idea of dating again and committing themselves to another relationship is one that is challenging and takes time. But we are not animals! As human beings, we are social by nature and long for the attention and nurture of an intimate partner. And, although the feelings of confusion, guilt, vulnerability, heartbreak, insecurity, indignation, anger, depression — and the list goes on — are tough to cope with, they do eventually pass.

Dating in many cases can be one of the most effective tools for growing past the heartbreak and moving on after divorce, once you are comfortable with the idea of it. There are a few key factors for dating after a divorce that can make it easier, more enjoyable, and make it possible to begin a fresh and successful relationship.

1. Self Confidence. Similar to dating prior to marriage, self-confidence plays a huge role in dating after divorce. Not only does self-confidence help in attracting a date and making you feel good about yourself, but it also serves as a step forward in moving on from the previous relationship.

2. Having an open mind. One of the worst thing someone can do when re-entering the dating world after a divorce is to compare the new person they are involved with to their previous partner. Although it is something that will occur naturally, it is one that should be avoided. Especially openly making comparisons or remarks about your prior partner to the person you are currently speaking to or interested in. Nothing turns someone off quite as badly a a person talking about their ex. Having an open mind and positive attitude towards the new man or woman can also help you appreciate new aspects of the person or even yourself, that you were previously unaware of.

3. Take your time. There is no rush to jump into another relationship and risk getting into a similar situation to the one you already experienced. Taking your time will save a lot of energy and potential grief and the future and make you feel more secure with the person you end up dating. It also allows for more positive dates because with no rush, you will really be able to pick through the crowd to find someone you are truly compatible with.

By keeping these three tips in mind, dating after marriage should be a positive experience that gives you a second opportunity at finding that special someone as well as help you grow as an individual. And, remember, we're not animals! Don't be afraid to go out and find your true life partner!"

So, there you have it from DateMy Family.com, the world's first free family-oriented dating platform that effectively uses a matching algorithm which goes one step deeper to match individuals not just through personality traits and common interests, but through their background and views on family.
Let me know what you think! I, myself think the "Take your time..." makes a lot of sense. If you are remarried, would you advise the same? If you are a single parent after divorce and happen to sign up for DateMyFamily.com, I'd like to know your thoughts about it, too.

If you missed my interview, "Mediation Can Help in Divorce & Remarriage" last night on RemarriageWorks.com's show on the Stepmom's Toolbox network, it isn't too late to hear it! You can listen to it or download it on BlogTalkRadio.com. A sincere thank you goes to guests Jim Pope and Ann Warshauer of the non-profit Northern VA Mediation Service for a very enlightening interview.  Enjoy!  Coming up on our next show on Nov. 7 is an interview with Christy Borgeld, the founder of National Stepfamily Day plus a special surprise for remarrying brides. 

When I was going through a divorce over a decade ago, I associated the word "mediation" with "giving in." And, in no way was that going to happen! In my view, I had been wronged, and things weren't going to be even. I was in such a different mindset then, and just the thought of my sitting on the living room floor, jousting, and divvying up our joint collection of CDs and "...one stuffed Pikachu for your house, and I get the stuffed Barney for mine" is horrifying. Whether you are divorcing or remarried, tune in to my next RemarriageWorks show (the Stepmom's Toolbox) on 10/3 to learn how professional mediation can help you.

On 10/3 at 8 p.m. EST, on our new RemarriageWorks.com BlogTalkRadio show, our topic will be "Mediation Can Help You in Divorce and Remarriage." Join me as I interview guests Jim Pope, M.S.W., J.D. and Ann L. Warshauer of the non-profit organization, Northern Virginia Mediation Service. As professional mediators, they will address: the ABC's of mediation, not only divorce mediation, but how mediation can help you in your remarriage and stepfamily life.

Are you facing a sticky or downright high conflict situation with an ex? Are you frustrated with shared joint custody problems? Are you absolutely stressed from child support, or lack thereof? Do you need a co-parenting plan? Does your child still want to see her step-grandparents after your ex has divorced again?

Thanks to our show's sponsor, IDEALS of Kentucky, tune in to our show on 10/3 at 8 p.m. EST, and hear the facts about mediation, and how it can help you in your divorce and remarriage. We'll even discuss if and when it doesn't work. I am sure it is a much healthier process to explore than tugging on Barney's arm or even worse. Very sad, but true in so many cases. 

This past weekend was pretty tough for many people as our country remembered the events of 9/11 and honored so many heroes and heroines. May we never forget. It was an even tougher day for me personally because my father died suddenly at the age of 54 on the same date 16 years ago. I am certain there were many moist eyes, including mine. When I woke up Monday morning and saw the sun shining for the first time in several days, I tried to think about some good things coming up this week. National Stepfamily Day, celebrated on September 16th is one of those things.

National Stepfamily Day and the National Stepfamily Day Foundation were founded by Christy Borgeld, who has worked tirelessly for 15 years to raise awareness about stepfamily issues, and develop programs, research, and support to American stepfamilies. If you ever get the opportunity to connect with Christy, just do it!

This astounding woman, who received an Outstanding Service Award from the Women's Information Network this year has a contagious passion to help step and blended families. Don't miss her video featuring 101 things to do with your family on National Stepfamily Day.

Lately, there has been some debate about whether stepfamilies need or should have a special day, such as National Stepfamily Day dedicated to them. I agree that a stepfamily is a family. And, while as much I may want or have wanted my stepfamily to not be different from a family that was formed by a first marriage with everyone biologically connected, in some ways it just simply is. It is a family no less, as we know that families come in many varieties these days.

My feelings about whether my stepfamily is different from any other family have shifted over the years. At first, I was hell-bent that my new stepfamily wasn't going to be treated as different. We were all going to learn to love each other and get along no matter what. Now I realize that hell, sometimes there are parts of my biological family, 40+ years old in which I grew up that still don't always get along, and I frankly wonder at times where some of the love is.

Here's the bottom line as I see it today. The majority of stepfamilies that I have come across face unique challenges and circumstances. They are families. And, one of the reasons I support National Stepfamily Day is that I know first-hand how difficult it can be to have a successful remarriage and stepfamily. Building a successful, lasting stepfamily requires hard work, dedication, self-growth, time, dedication, patience, love, and more. I'm celebrating what we have built thus far. I hope you do, too.

I invite you to tune in on Monday, September 5, 8-9 p.m. EST as I launch my new RemarriageWorks monthly show on The Stepmom's Toolbox segment of BlogTalkRadio. Keeping with our mission of helping remarriages and stepfamilies succeed, the RemarriageWorks show, airing every first Monday of the month at 8 p.m. EST will cover topics that will help you on your remarriage journey - whether you are divorced and widowed and thinking about getting remarried, planning your second wedding, or living in a stepfamily.

My first topic will be "Remarriage Works: A Second Look at Mortgages, Credit, and Finances" with special guest Carl Delmont, CEO of Freedmont Mortgage, and Board Member of the MD Council on Economic Education and MD Coalition for Financial Literacy. Carl, the first certified divorce planner in MD, is also a weekly expert on WMAR ABC TV in Baltimore. 

Do you worry about blending your credit histories or finances? Are you remarried and thinking about buying a new home? Do you understand how buying a home in your second marriage is different from your first-time purchase? Do you know how child support and alimony are treated when applying for a mortgage?

If you are pre or post divorce and/or remarried, or somewhere in between, don't miss this dynamic guest!

And, last, but not least, we are proud to announce our radio show sponsor, IDEALS of Kentucky. Their mission is to teach people methods of communicating with others, of dealing with emotions, and of solving problems. I don't think there is a remarriage in the world that wouldn't benefit from that!

If you have a topic, you would like to hear about, drop me a line.